Reflection: Taking Care

From July 8-18th, I worked as a volunteer at a summer camp which worked with children from the ages 8-16. The main goal of the summer camp was for the children to gain ‘wisdom’, or at least a seed of it. Some parents also went, at the same time as their children, to a temple an hour away for ten days of meditation camp. This camp was free on both sides, but the attendees were free to donate as much as they wished. 

I won’t go into details on how the camp works, I’m sure it will be understood as I continue this reflection. 

I had a room with 7 children, ranging from the ages 9-14, and I had to take care of them 24 hours a day, from the moment they got up, to getting them to sleep. As I had expected, it was not an easy job, and I had many problems along the way. Children are always energetic. They like to jump on the beds, they always want to play, they like to run around and shout as well. They also forget to do many things you tell them to do, or are just too lazy to do it. These things include putting their shoes in place before they enter the room, changing shoes before they enter the shower, not to talk and make noise after the lights are closed, etc. For my group, another problem was that all of them except one showed no interest in Buddhism at all, and believed that meditating was not worth the time, and were unwilling to try. And the one that was willing to learn was affected by others’ attitude to a certain extent as well. Fortunately, we switched him out to another group which had more students interested in Buddhism. 

These are problems that every counselor had, but each group dealt with their problems differently. During this period, I established reward and punish systems for the boys to behave. The reward was candy, and though one wouldn’t think it, the reward of some candy was even attractive to a 14 year old. The boys could earn candy through exercise (so that they would be more tired and willing to sleep at night), behave well, and help clean the room. Bad behavior would also cause a deduction in candy amount. Behaving well meant a different thing for each child. For some it was staying in place during class time, but for others things were a bit different. One of them liked to make frog noises while staying in the closet, and liked to make the same voice even outside while we were walking or playing, annoying me and the other kids a lot. He was also extremely energetic and liked to run around and play. For him, he could earn candy through exercise, and get deducted candy when he made frog noises. This was generally successful but I could have done better by making it more systematic. I did not have a certain time that I passed out every day, nor did I record down the amount of candy each child learned, but just sort of remembered as the day went on. This resulted in the kids’ caring and remembering less about the system in the later days of the camp, making this less effective. 

I also appointed a team ‘leader’, who was 14 years old and the oldest. He was more mature than the others and helped me a lot in organizing the group, both when going out and lining up, and when it was time to leave. He also helped lead them in certain events such as making Herbariums for certain plants, as well as cleaning and even playing. 

However, doing this for the first time, I still had many things that I could learn to do better like the other counselors. For example, I did not establish enough authority on the ground rules for the group—things that the group needs to do in the following days. This caused me some trouble when I had to organize them to participate in events they did not like, such as meditation or art class. Another problem that arose from this was them taking back food from breakfast and lunch to eat in the afternoon and at night, as we did not eat dinner during this. This caused things like eggs and other food to make the room smell. I did not notice this (as I had a nose problem), but I received this information from other counselors who noticed our room smelled. 

The fact that two of our students brought poker cards was also both a blessing and a problem. The blessing was that my group would, instead of running around outside the room, gather inside to play cards. But during times such as cleaning and shower time, making them put away the cards to do the cleaning or showering became an issue. 

Although these problems have been quite the hassle, I have learned and grown from this experience more than one can imagine. 

The first thing I learned was taking care, both of myself and others. Through taking care of the children, I learned to take care of myself. I had to get up earlier than them to wake them up on time, I had to get them to go at the right time, I helped them wash and hang their clothes, and I organized the room with them as best I could, though my room was still the messiest of all of them. All of these things I did for them I learned myself to do better. Being quite a messy and procrastinating student at my boarding school, I had to overcome myself many different times to clean, to help them clean, and to be on time for every meeting. I found when I have responsibility to help and organize others as a leader, I act better, if not for them, then for myself. Through this, I acquired many skills which I did not have before, and I believe that, when I get back at my school, I will be a more organized and responsible student. 

Throughout this process, I had many moments when emotions took the better of me, and I would have to sit aside and calm down. The anger, however, became a good exercise of mindfulness. Whenever I was angry and I could remember, I would attempt to put my mind to be aware of the fact that I am angry. Since this opportunity came often, I had lots of time to practice, and by the end of the camp, I was much more familiar with the feeling of anger than I was before, improving both my mindfulness and my own control of emotion. 

The anger that came along the way also gave way to gratitude for teachers and mentors that have taught me when I was smaller. I understood how hard it was for someone to be able to control themselves when they had to deal with students 8 hours a day, and had to keep them under control and learn things at the same time. Through this understanding, I came to appreciate the time and care that they had spent to teach me the knowledge that I have, and the time spent to help me improve, despite their lackings. I wish them all well. 

I also gained a better understanding of giving to others, and how my strength of dedication helps me. I spent my time and energy hoping to give the students that come here a good environment, and to plant a seed for Buddhism and meditation in their lives, hoping that it gets a chance to grow when the time comes. The act of giving is a dedication and a determination to help more beings in this world have a better life, and though I might not have the benevolence of other greater people, I will still do my best when I have decided and dedicated myself to a cause. This dedication is what allowed me to learn from the process, try my best to be mindful, not to leave and be overwhelmed by hardships, and give my most so that the students can have a better experience.